A couple months ago the neighbor boy was over to our house. He went upstairs to get my big exercise ball. When we were up there I pointed out our guest room and told him, "That is where your grandma stayed when she was here." He looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "You remember your grandma stayed with us because we had more room." (They live right next door). He said, "Yeah, but where did you sleep?" I pointed to Daniel and I's room, and he said "But where did Daniel sleep?" I told him we both slept in the same room and his response, "Argg, I know how that is. I have to share a room with my sister! I hate it." That cracked me up.
I think he may be on to something though. Daniel had a cold this week. After a night of no sleeping because he was coughing and clearing his throat and generally sounding pathetic, I moved into the guest room. I must say, we both have enjoyed having our own space! It's nice to sleep in the middle of the bed and read as late as I want without grumpy remarks about turning the light off. We haven't had to fight (jokingly) about the middle of the bed and who is over the line. (And believe me, we've measured!)
Well despite the separate sleeping arrangements, I still managed to get his germs. So I guess I'll stay in the guest room, so he doesn't have to listen to my sniffling and coughing.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
He has a family!
We are told that our adoption case was approved in the Ethiopian court system. Holy Cow! We are shocked and thrilled and just can't believe it.
We are wandering around the house looking at each other in disbelief.
We are his and he is ours. Amazing!
We are wandering around the house looking at each other in disbelief.
We are his and he is ours. Amazing!
Monday, May 17, 2010
In the next 15 hours....
...our adoption case will (possibly) be heard in the Ethiopian courts. Our court date is scheduled on Tuesday, March 18th. Right now it is about 2:45am Tuesday morning in Ethiopia. Hopefully all those involved in getting our case through the court system are resting peacefully, so they will be clear and focused when they awake. It will be a busy day in the courts, there are many cases scheduled for the day. My heart beats fast when I think that it could be the day...
My heart also beats fast when I see that some families that passed court on April 30th are leaving for Ethiopia on May 26th. Less than a month...oh my goodness.
My heart also beats fast when I see that some families that passed court on April 30th are leaving for Ethiopia on May 26th. Less than a month...oh my goodness.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Yeah...good news on the adoption front.
Hopefully, it is not premature to celebrate this step, as I don't have the paper in my hand yet. But I got an e-mail from USCIS today, stating that our application for immigration was approved and that we should be getting the paperwork in the mail next week.
Yippee! I will be checking the mail everyday, for sure.
Yippee! I will be checking the mail everyday, for sure.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Yesterday I Heard...
...the phrases, "your new adoptee" and "baby shopping".
It bothered me. I have read about and listened to other adoptive families discuss wording and phrases that they find inappropriate or insensitive adoption language. And I have always thought, 'I don't think that is going to bother me. I think they are being too sensitive.' But then yesterday, these words came out of peoples mouths and I found myself shocked for a second and taking a deep breath.
I took these phrases away from their context and from people that I know mean no harm, but still it affected me in a not so nice way.
I guess I understand that these people haven't been sitting in classes about adoption for months like I have. They haven't spent the past few years reading, researching, and learning about adoption. They haven't spent just about every waking (and sleeping) moment thinking of this child...this child...who they will be, where they will come from, what they will be like. To them, this new and strange picture is "my new adoptee", not my child. I guess I can't fault them. I know I need to educate them, but it's hard when I am taken off guard and holding my breath.
I can't blame them, can I? I have trouble saying "my child", "my son". It's not official yet. We still have to pass court for this to be legal on paper. But in my heart this is our child. It's like when I got married, though. I couldn't call Daniel "my husband". In fact saying such a thing would reduce me to laughing and giggles. I had to get used to "having a husband". I have to get used to having a child, to having a son. It may seem more real to others, and to us, if I had a growing belly to see. But rest assured, this child is real, he won't be our adoptee, he will be our son.
As for the phrase "baby shopping". I just hope I never hear that phrase again.
It bothered me. I have read about and listened to other adoptive families discuss wording and phrases that they find inappropriate or insensitive adoption language. And I have always thought, 'I don't think that is going to bother me. I think they are being too sensitive.' But then yesterday, these words came out of peoples mouths and I found myself shocked for a second and taking a deep breath.
I took these phrases away from their context and from people that I know mean no harm, but still it affected me in a not so nice way.
I guess I understand that these people haven't been sitting in classes about adoption for months like I have. They haven't spent the past few years reading, researching, and learning about adoption. They haven't spent just about every waking (and sleeping) moment thinking of this child...this child...who they will be, where they will come from, what they will be like. To them, this new and strange picture is "my new adoptee", not my child. I guess I can't fault them. I know I need to educate them, but it's hard when I am taken off guard and holding my breath.
I can't blame them, can I? I have trouble saying "my child", "my son". It's not official yet. We still have to pass court for this to be legal on paper. But in my heart this is our child. It's like when I got married, though. I couldn't call Daniel "my husband". In fact saying such a thing would reduce me to laughing and giggles. I had to get used to "having a husband". I have to get used to having a child, to having a son. It may seem more real to others, and to us, if I had a growing belly to see. But rest assured, this child is real, he won't be our adoptee, he will be our son.
As for the phrase "baby shopping". I just hope I never hear that phrase again.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Dropping the baby!
Yesterday, Daniel and I were in an all day Baby and Toddler Care class for adoptive families. We had to get there early to pick out a baby, diaper it, dress it, and pick out a carrier to carry our baby around in. We were instructed to take care of our baby throughout the day (8 hours). The most interesting part of all that was getting to try out different baby and toddler carrying devices.
The day went really well, I thought. The nurse speaker was great and the information throughout the day was very helpful. We got to meet more families in the process of adoption and a few more couples that are adopting children from Ethiopia.
In the last part of class, we had a young woman born in Korea and adopted into an American family come and talk with the class. She is also an adoption professional that works with an organization in the area. We were all divided up into different groups during an exercise she had us doing. During this time, I hear a loud crash and thud, and the group catching their breath and ohhh-ing. And what do I see, but my baby on the ground! My husband had dropped our child onto the ground. When I got our baby back his head was turned halfway around. Daniel assured me he was fine. Hopefully, practice makes perfect....
The day went really well, I thought. The nurse speaker was great and the information throughout the day was very helpful. We got to meet more families in the process of adoption and a few more couples that are adopting children from Ethiopia.
In the last part of class, we had a young woman born in Korea and adopted into an American family come and talk with the class. She is also an adoption professional that works with an organization in the area. We were all divided up into different groups during an exercise she had us doing. During this time, I hear a loud crash and thud, and the group catching their breath and ohhh-ing. And what do I see, but my baby on the ground! My husband had dropped our child onto the ground. When I got our baby back his head was turned halfway around. Daniel assured me he was fine. Hopefully, practice makes perfect....
Friday, April 30, 2010
Daniel's Birthday and Court Dates
Friday afternoon we got an e-mail from our adoption agency that our court case had been scheduled with the Ethiopian courts for May18th!! Throughout the whole process they state that it can take 2 or 3 dates to pass through the Ethiopian court system. Many things can happen to delay the process. In Addis, the capital, there are frequent power outages which of course interrupts the work day. Paper work can be missing or done incorrectly. In certain cases, the relinquishing party has to appear in court for the case, and if they are unable that will delay the case. Sometimes there are just too many cases scheduled on one day and they can not all be heard and end up being rescheduled. Our agency has forewarned us that there are many cases scheduled on May18th, so not to be surprised if the case is rescheduled.
We are still going to be hopeful, though, if all goes well, we will pass court on our first date! May 18th is Daniel's birthday, so we think that is a good sign, somehow. When our adoption case is approved in the Ethiopian court, this will mean we are the legal parents to our boy. Some people have wondered if we have to be in Ethiopia for this date. We do not. We, as far as we know, are in the group of adoptive parents that fall under the "old rule", the one trip rule. We have been told if your court case was submitted to the courts prior to May9th, which ours was, we only have to make one trip to Ethiopia. Cases submitted after May9th, will have to plan to make two trips to Ethiopia to adopt.
If we pass court on May 18th, we will then be waiting for an Embassy appointment in Ethiopia. Yes, I did say waiting, waiting again. This typically happens 6-8 weeks after the adoption has been approved in the Ethiopian High Court. If all goes well, we think we may be traveling as soon as July.
We are still going to be hopeful, though, if all goes well, we will pass court on our first date! May 18th is Daniel's birthday, so we think that is a good sign, somehow. When our adoption case is approved in the Ethiopian court, this will mean we are the legal parents to our boy. Some people have wondered if we have to be in Ethiopia for this date. We do not. We, as far as we know, are in the group of adoptive parents that fall under the "old rule", the one trip rule. We have been told if your court case was submitted to the courts prior to May9th, which ours was, we only have to make one trip to Ethiopia. Cases submitted after May9th, will have to plan to make two trips to Ethiopia to adopt.
If we pass court on May 18th, we will then be waiting for an Embassy appointment in Ethiopia. Yes, I did say waiting, waiting again. This typically happens 6-8 weeks after the adoption has been approved in the Ethiopian High Court. If all goes well, we think we may be traveling as soon as July.
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